John Kerry mistakes woman's chest for vanity mirror.
It makes sense that we don’t hear the word “pedantic” very often; most people educated enough to use it don’t want to be called it.
On 2009/11/21, In "General" Interest, By Keller
On 2009/09/06, In "General" Interest, By Keller
On 2009/08/28, In "General" Interest, By Keller
I get this chain email from time to time and it never fails to give me a belly laugh. I believe this is referring to the 2008 contest. I looked around a bit and couldn’t find the 2009 results or any information on when they will be published, but I will keep an eye out for sure:
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s
winners. Read them carefully. Each is a real word with only one letter
altered. Some are terrifically innovative:
17. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
16. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
15. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
14. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
13. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
12. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.
11. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
8. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s,
like, a serious bummer.
7. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
6. Glibido: All talk and no action.
5. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly. [This one is my personal favorite, KG]
4. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
3. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
2. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you’re eating.
And the #1 pick:
1. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.